Everyone knows the best way to enjoy a meal is nicely toasted (if you catch my drift). With Thanksgiving being the meal of all meals, it’s always tradition to get a little extra high before dinner. But with all the family and kids around how can you get properly lifted prior to dinner without getting busted by grandma? Follow our simple steps to smoking safely and you’ll be flying high in turkey heaven faster than Uncle Bobby can finish a drumstick.
Choose your device
Vape - Obviously the best choice here is a vape. Small, discreet, and virtually no smell.
Bowl - Not ideal if you need more than one or two hits to get your buzz on.
Bong - Size, smoke, and discretion are obviously the problems here.
Dab Rig - This is my go-to for the holidays because it doesn’t smell like weed, you can take a big rip, and you can use a small pipe.
Joint - Not recommended unless you smoke cigarettes or can get out of the house for a few minutes.
Choose your location!
Bathroom, bedroom, garage, or car; you need to be careful no matter where you are!
Vapes you can practically hit anywhere. For the sake of privacy though, best to step into any empty bedroom and take a quick hit. Be careful of quick intruders like kids or aunts. They like to surprise bedroom smokers.
For bowls, bongs, and dab rigs you’ll need to get more crafty.
Step one - Excuse yourself and head into a bathroom. If possible go while someone is using the main one. Make sure you remember everything! Nothing worse than getting set up and realizing you don’t have a lighter.
Step two - Turn on the fan or open the window (just make sure the smoke won’t blow back in through a different window!) and take those precious guest towels and lay them on the floor to block the bottom of the door. Turn on your music (this will help hide any coughing or lighter sounds) and pack your bowl or torch your nail.
For joints, we recommend going outside. It will be far too smokey to get away with in the house. Tell them you need to take a quick phone call or you want to go for a short walk to reflect.
Ready, set, blast off!
When you’re ready to take that hit, keep a few things in mind…
If you are bedroom vaping, try to find a picture or a window not facing the door to stand and look at. Anyone that pops in will assume you’re just being nostalgic. You can also pass off any red eyes as getting a bit sentimental thinking about the holiday.
Bathroom tokers, you’ve got your music on, your fan is on or window is open, and your towels are down. The last step is to turn on the water full blast while you take your hit. This also helps mask any coughing or other noises. Be sure to exhale into the exhaust fan or out the window. If neither of those are options you can try to exhale slowly down the drain. I think it works, but I was high when I tried.
For the outside smoker make sure you have a good cover story and don’t take too long! Nothing worse than Grandma Sally coming to get you for dinner while you are mid-Backwood.
Don’t forget to bring and use
- Gum or mints
- Cologne or perfume
- Hand sanitizer
- Eye drops
Bonus points!
Invite a cousin to share in the holiday festivities! When I was younger my cousin and I would always find an excuse to need to go to the store for a last minute item. Several joints later we would return ready to eat. If you know you’re relative is down, make a pre-meal game plan to get high! My brother and I would stash our rig under the sink behind the cleaning supplies and would trade off in the bathroom before dinner. It’s always more fun to share with someone, and be sure to use a MouthPeace so you don’t get sick this holiday season!
